The Tarot Cafe

After being the biggest failure in the restaurant industry by naming itself The Two Bananas, the corner shop at Bormil has since reinvented itself as The Tarot Cafe.

Picture stolen from someone else blog

But sanity in mind, who would ever eat at a cafe named two bananas in the first place?? It sounds like a gay strip bar. Every time I passed that cafe after tuition, I would wonder what kind of food they served. Banana Milkshake... with two lychees.. and chocolate shaving. Wahaha perverted mind!

Anyway, on to The Tarot Cafe!

We order our drinks according to numerology.
We add our birthdates together and see what drink it coincides with.

In this cafe apparently you can get Tarot Card consultation at RM30 per session (must have appointment first)! This is a cool concept but not really necessary because I don't need another person to tell me how awesome I am!

I haven't seen this concept yet in West Malaysia... maybe they have, but I never encountered it! Supernatural blend with food, a very good concept that will make everyone happy. Especially someone like me who loves food and weird things.

Funky cranberry juice + asamboi + sprite + mint + unknown substance. 8/10
Thick vanilla milkshake + cincau + sago + icecream. 6/10

Tarot Cafe is like Bing! or dare I compare it to Starbucks. Its more famous for its interesting drinks, where as the food is not as good. Larry, Phyllis, Siew Lin and I went jalan jalan cari makan and decided on this place because none of us have tried it before.

The inside of the restaurant is quite dark with phenolphthalein pink lighting

I ordered Honey Chicken, which was quite ordinary but still pleasant tasting. The rest ordered Seafood Fried Rice, Pataya Fried Rice and Sweet Sour Chicken. Overall, the food I can say is quite average and nothing to shout about. The price is also reasonable for such fancy cafes, meaning around the RM7 range per dish.

All of us were very full, and the total price for 4 people is RM60.

For people who have never tried it, at least go once for the experience! Its a nice place to hang out, but I still prefer Bing! .

The Awesome-Lame Law (TALL)

This law is by no means new. Its an adaptation from Barney Stinson's Crazy-Hot Law so this is like, a tribute to the awesomeness of How I Met Your Mother.

Let me present to you The Awesome-Lame Law, or TALL in short (pun intended!).

Fig1.1 The area under the straight line graph is known as the
Safe Awesome Requirement Sector (SARS)

According to TALL: A persons awesomeness is directly proportional to his lameness, provided no external factors affect the system.

This means that a person is allowed to be a certain range of Lame IF and ONLY IF he is above a specific amount of Awesome.

Fig 1.2 1x is within the SARS and is considered reasonably awesome

Eg 1: You have had a rough day in college, and you are now hanging out at the nearest Starbucks. A person of the opposite sex proceeds to sit down beside you. Said person is incredibly hot, good looking, has very sexy eyes and a flattering smile.

Said person is now at point 1X on the graph, a reasonable amount of awesome for a stranger.

Fig 1.3 The point has risen to 2X which is above the
line of graph and is not in the SARS

Eg2: You say to hot sexy person "Why hello there, my name is Daniel, who are you?" to which the hot sexy person replies "Ching chong chang chee cheong fan chicken ching chong kam sia wo ai ni boom boom pow ching chong." Hot sexy person is UNABLE to speak any language other than unintelligable china chee cheong fan!

Hot sexy person has risen to 2X and will now be referred to as the lame Chee Cheong Fan.

Fig1.4 3X is across the line of graph and has re-entered the SARS

Eg3: the lame Chee Cheong Fan suddenly places hands on your lap, leans forward, and whispers into your ears, nibbling it ever so slightly. A slight squeeze of your lap. Hormones flood your system giving you a powerful endorphin rush. FREAKIN AWESOME YO! SCORE!!! 3X!!!

However...

Eg4: You get hot and frisky when suddenly horny Chee Cheong Fan says "Kamu mesti bayar."

Fig 1.5 Lameness has increased to 4X which is within the blue region known as the

Severely Lame Upper Teritory (SLUT)

Whenever an individuals' rating on the graph in within the SLUT, run away!!! A SLUT is a very dangerous individual that can destroy your life in you allow them into you. I mean, into your life!

Well, so how TALL do you stand? Give yourself a rating!

How TALL are you?

• Point 1X
• Point 2X
• Point 3X
• Point 4X (SLUT)
• Im too cool for this shit!

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Create a Blog Poll

Dont forget to comment below!

Holiday + Damai Trip

The first part of my holiday has been legen-waitforit-dary!

First I met up with old friends and just had a really good time.

Second, I finished watching three and a half seasons of "How I Met Your Mother" which is the most awesome sitcom that everyone has to watch! Barney Stinson is my idol!

First solve: 1 day 6 hours
(In my defense, it was really hard to understand the video!)

Third, I can solve the Rubiks cube under 3 minutes! I finally decided to learn the algorithms because I was so bored in the car on a roadtrip to Lundu last week. The ability to solve the cube is so cool, its like a superhero ability everyone can gain!

I've taught Kelvin and Larry so far. Pretty soon, the whole world will know!

Beh and Eric: Streetfighter Style

Fourth, Beh and Eric are in Kuching and we went Damai beach to stay!

We stayed in a chalet beside the beach which I can say is a few times cleaner than the Batu Feringhi beach (Penang) and a 1000 times cleaner than the Sepang Gold Coast beach (otherwise known as Mud Central, stay away, far away!)

Clear waters, white sand, green hills, blue skies.
Only Sabah beats this. Sarawakians be proud!

Honestly Borneo rocks. The West Coast of Semenanjung is like one long stretch of empty bottles, aluminium cans, plastic bags and mud.Oh God, Sepang Gold Coast, dont even THINK of going there. Worse beach ever. Whats so Gold about that place anyway.

We had fun in the pool/beach/sea and got sunburnt. Built a sandcastle, canoe'd around in the sea. Eric cant swim so he got really scared when we went out to the (not so) deep part.

Me and cute awesome handsome Beh (dont kill me CL!)

The only two sane guys who actually thought of bringing goggles.

I shall go to Damai Puri one day and compare!

By the way, question: Guys, when you wear underwear, do you park your thing upwards or downwards? Serious question. I only inserted this in the middle of the blog post because people dont read the intro or the ending.

After that we played tennis in the court and ended up chasing balls more that hitting it. Then we went to Buntal to eat seafood, but the nice famous restaurant (at the end of the kampong) was closed so we had to settle for one of the middle ones. The food was okayish only, definitely not foodgarsmic.

You know that feeling after a good meal?
"Kill me right now, while I feel contented and happy with life"

Jellyfish, fried prawns, oyster pancake, belachan midin, steamed fish, char kueh tiaw, and a lot of Teh C Special. Those two West Malaysian guys loved Teh C Special so much they drank rounds and rounds of it. (Either that or they found the food too salty, because I did)

I swear our oyster pancake is better than whatever scrambly eggish one the Penang people claim is the best. They eat theirs with chilli sauce for Gods sake!

At night we played pool and 21, and Beh has his first cocktail and alcohol. LOL. He was giggling like a silly kid at the end of it. I won a grand total of RM4, gosh I feel so good.

We had fun. Beh, Me, and Kelvin.

Funny story: In the lounge bar there was a family from KL on holiday there, so I went up to one of the kids- a 16/17 year old guy- to talk to him, socialize, get to know each other. Sounds good right? NO. I totally forgot that this is Malaysia, where the first rule of the thumb is Dont Talk To Strangers. Imagine really awkward silence. =)

The Sky is falling! The Sky is falling!

Hope the rest of my holidays are just as fun!!

The Textbook and I

The apartment is quiet. I glance up from my table and arch my back, praying away the headache and backpain. That's when all of a sudden, someone voiced out.

“I am God.”

I stare at the Physics textbook. “Cool,” I reply back nonchalantly, ignoring the fact that an inanimate object I was studying a minute ago just initiated dialogue with me. “But that’s just bullshit talking.”

“Think, Daniel, think,” a ray of Malaysian sunshine hits its plastic cover giving it a supernatural glow. “You worship me. You study my word every day and memorize my laws.” The textbook flaps its great pages, as though lecturing an impertinent child “And my believers put their faith in me to the test in exams.”

“Then not a lot of people have faith, I suppose,” I scratch my head.

The textbook ignores me and continues orating. “People around the world glorify me for who I am and what I’ve done in their lives. I am prayed to, by millions of people around the world- on the classroom board, upon their notes and papers, and engraved in their hearts.”

“Well, there’s a difference between personal conviction and being told what to do. I’m being forced to study Physics, doesn’t mean you are God.” I told it off. The textbook performs a stupid little dance on my study table. “Doesn’t mean I think you are God and...”

It stops dancing and suddenly turns around, a hard look on its face. In a serious voice it said, “Well my brothers Biology and Chemistry do make serious contenders for the throne but…”

I cut back. “…and surely you are not supposed to be talking.”

“That’s the point. I’m not talking. You’re imagining this whole conversation in your head.”

Revelation hits me. I’m stunned speechless. I’m imagining you? This is just a fantasy?

“That’s right,” the textbook plops down dead on the table again. It concludes in a fading voice.

“Exactly like God…”